Goddess Undone Read online

  I leaned forward and curled a blonde strand of hair behind her ear. “I know you’re not, dear sister,” I told her. “Unfortunately for you, because of your exquisite beauty and your bubbly personality, you’ll be underestimated by everyone you come in contact with.”

  “I’ve already made peace with that,” Seph said, releasing the hold she had on her skirt and trying to smooth out the wrinkles that accumulated. “I prefer it. I don’t care what others think of me, you know. I just…I’m not fond of being dismissed simply because I’m younger and not as worldly as the others. Perhaps I should join the Watchers like you.”

  I snorted before I could stop myself. As much I knew Seph was a lot tougher than most people expected her to be, I highly doubted she could handle being a Watcher. It was more physical than anything she had ever endured, and she had to defend Olympus against threats. I couldn’t see Seph swatting a bee that threatened to sting her, nor could I see her running for any reason, even to escape death. She just wasn’t that type of Divine.

  And there was nothing wrong with that.

  “See?” Seph asked. There was a small glint in her eye but her tone seemed laced with disappointment. “Even you don’t have faith that I could accomplish something like that.”

  “It’s not that I don’t have faith in you,” I said quickly. “I mean, Mother would never let you.”

  “But she let you -“

  “It’s different,” I said abruptly.

  Seph closed her mouth, pressing her lips into a tight line. I tried to ignore the guilt that caused my stomach to swell up worse than any bowl of pasta I had ever eaten. I knew if our positions were reversed, I’d be pissed. It wasn’t fair. I knew that.

  But Seph was different.

  She was the docile, fragile beauty in the family. I was pretty but strong. Mother could afford to marry me off to someone less than fully Divine if she married me off at all. At this point, I was pretty sure she didn’t think I was worth the trouble, something I was grateful for. I didn’t need her meddling in that aspect of my life, and with Seph’s betrothal to the most eligible Divine, her hands were probably tied.

  Something else Seph had to sacrifice for my freedom.

  “Look,” I said, reaching out to pat her shoulder. I couldn’t bring myself to touch her, though, too awkward with the concept of physical touching to even make the effort. Instead, I let it fall back in my lap. “I’m not saying it’s fair. It’s just…it’s the way it is.”

  “And if it’s the way it is for you, you’d be fine with it?” she asked, looking up at me with a surprisingly piercing stare. Her green eyes were narrowed, daring me to lie.

  I didn’t bother to answer. I had no idea what I was supposed to say that would appease her.

  She scoffed and dropped her gaze, fingers idly flattening the folds of her skirt again.

  I was surprised by the attitude, even if I deserved it. Seph had never been this outwardly upset before; at least not from what I had seen directly. In fact, I didn’t remember a time when she was upset like this before.

  Which must really say something about how she felt right now.

  “Right,” she said. “I’ll be the good girl and keep my head down and my mouth shut, right? I’ll go off and get married to a Divine who loves himself more than he could ever love me while you get to do whatever you want.”

  I opened my mouth, shut it, then opened it again. “What do you want me to say to that, Seph?” I asked, lifting my shoulders. I shifted my weight. I was so close to leaving but I couldn’t seem to take that final step out the door.

  “Nothing,” she whispered. “There’s nothing for you to say. You should probably get dressed, though. I doubt Mother would appreciate you walking around in your training uniform. Must be nice to get to move around so freely, in pants, no less, without consequence.”

  I pressed my lips together and looked away. She wasn’t wrong about that either.

  I wished I could comfort her. I wished I could say something that would make this right.

  But the truth was, there was nothing I could do to change it. And honestly, I didn’t want to. At least my mother ignored me for the most part, unless it was to lecture me about something I did wrong.

  And I would rather deal with that than what Seph had to deal with. If that made me selfish, so be it.

  As I left, however, my stomach turned with that guilt I was trying to ignore. I wished there was a way the two of us could both get what we wanted without giving up who we were in the process.

  Chapter Three

  I gave myself one last look in the mirror, turning on the ball of my foot so I could see my ass. This material did nothing for my ass. And it was probably the thing I admired most about myself. I mean, I wasn’t Aphrodite or anything - flawless skin, hourglass curves, flat stomach, no cellulite ever - but I did okay by Divine standards. Except when my mother was the one in charge of the fashion.

  I wrinkled my nose. Part of me wanted to pull back on my training suit. It hid the things I wanted to hide, it revealed the parts of myself I was confident in, and it had pockets. This dress required a purse if I needed to take something with me or a place to put my Star Blades since I couldn’t exactly strap them to my calves the way I would have.

  It’s just for a night, I thought to myself. And this isn’t for me, it’s for Seph. If she can deal with marrying someone she clearly isn’t interested in, I can wear an ugly dress.

  I swear, though, it was like my mother wanted me to look ugly. Like all of her hopes and dreams were riding on Seph because she had already given up on me. Usually, I had no problem with being viewed this way since I wanted no part in an arranged marriage, especially to a privileged beautiful moron, but still. It would be nice for her to acknowledge my talents and strengths the way she fawned over Seph all the time.

  I blew out a breath.

  I peeled a strand of hair from my face and tucked it behind my ear before pushing out a breath.

  “Okay, Dor, Seph is waiting for you. Let’s do this.”

  It was the only pep talk I could muster, and even then, I knew how shitty it was. I wasn’t one for fancy speeches. I wasn’t one for inspiring others.

  I headed down the steps and nearly tripped over the ungodly high heels that Mom insisted I wear because it matched the tone of the party. I didn’t even know what that meant; I just knew this was all terribly impractical, and once I was a Watcher, I could show up in the leathers and cloak, and that would be the end of it. But I couldn’t wear that unless I earned a place there, and even though I had been training for three years, I was no closer to joining their ranks than I had been when I started.

  I gripped the banister as I made my way down the staircase. No one was paying any attention to me since Seph had already made her debut, which was more than fine with me. I didn’t need everyone waiting for me to fuck up because I knew that I probably would. It wasn’t that I didn’t do well with pressure, it was more because attention made me uncomfortable.

  I cleared my throat and rolled my shoulders back, trying to shake off the feeling of discomfort. I immediately made my way over to the buffet table, my stomach rumbling at the sight of the variety of food that had been carefully placed out. My mother was careful about food; every meal was planned and curated to ensure the freshest fruits and vegetables, the grain in the rolls, the most succulent meats. Part of me thought it stemmed from the fact that it was because her weight yo-yoed and she didn’t want the same for Seph and me. I didn’t mind it as much; at the very least, it made me appreciate the opportunities I had to indulge, such as this one.

  I grabbed a porcelain plate and began to fill it with roasted lamb, fresh dinner rolls, steamed vegetables, an ear of corn, mashed potatoes lathered with thick gravy, and pasta filled with five different cheeses. By the time I made my way down the line, my plate was filled and I was ready to eat.

  I made my way into the grand balloon. Mother explicitly told me where I would be sitting - at the main table at the end.
Which meant Seph was at the center and the one who would receive the attention.

  This was more than acceptable.

  I took a seat on the edge and grabbed a fork, digging in. The room was full, which told me I was later than I expected to be.

  Oh well.

  I didn’t think Seph was offended by my tardiness.

  I took a bite of lamb, glancing up again.

  Speaking of my sister…

  My eyes traveled around the room, trying to see if I could spot her. After our conversation earlier, I wanted to make sure she was okay. It wasn’t like Seph to be...sad. To cry so openly for something that was about herself. I’d seen her cry over sad animals and stuff, but nothing so directly related to herself.

  So far, I couldn’t see her. Maybe it was because, for some strange reason, the lighting was dim. I wasn’t sure if Mother thought it was supposed to be romantic, but in reality, it made it difficult to see right in front of me.

  My eyes continued to look at the corners of the room, seeing if maybe she was hiding herself there.

  Not that Seph would hide. She wasn’t the type to run from difficult tasks, even if they were tedious.

  I tried not to think about the fact that she might be avoiding me. After our discussion, tension still lingered between us. I knew we would resolve it eventually. We always did. But I had said some things I couldn’t just take back. And Seph took things to heart. She felt them deep inside of her, whether she admitted it or not.

  I blew out a breath. I needed to make it up to her in some way. More than just apologize. Seph was not the sort to buy words. She needed action, authentic gestures that brokered trust.

  I kept looking for her. I wasn’t sure what I intended to do once I found her but I knew I wanted to figure it out.

  I happened to notice someone leaning against the wall next to the grand window, catching my attention. I knew him. I furrowed my brow.

  How did I know the guy?

  Thoughts of Seph vanished from my mind temporarily. Instead, I focused on the familiarity that tickled the back of my neck and refused to stop until I placed him.

  He had to have gone to the Academy of the Divine. There was something about him that said godly, even if it washed in brutality. He had to be over six feet, with sweeping broad shoulders and a scowl on his chiseled face. There was something hooded about his face, something shadowed. It was difficult for me to explain. Like, he wasn’t a pretty boy the way Zeus was, but his face was interesting to look at, much more compelling. Looked like he had seen more than his fair share of fights, to be honest. But that didn’t take away from that compelling attractiveness he seemed to possess.

  Like a bad boy on steroids.

  I ripped my eyes away from him before he caught me gawking. I needed to focus, and staring at him wasn’t going to help me.

  Instead, I decided I had made my round and could disappear for a while. As much as I would love to ditch the party completely, I knew that would strike my mother’s ire more than I wanted to deal with before. And…part of me wanted to be there for Seph. Because the truth of the matter was, she was right. It wasn’t fair. Her life wasn’t fair. The fact that she had to marry Zeus, some ignorant bonehead, when all she wanted to do was figure out her life and fall in love was bullshit.

  I couldn’t change that.

  Not yet, anyway. I wouldn’t even consider that a possibility at all right now.

  But I could be more supportive even if it meant I had to endure my discomfort a lot longer than I wanted to.

  First, though, I needed a break. Time for me to take a breath, collect my bearings. Maybe even swipe some ambrosia while I was at it and my mother wasn’t around to catch me.

  As a Watcher, alcohol was strictly forbidden. However, I wasn’t a Watcher yet, which meant I still had time to indulge in the tasty beverage. I hoped Mom served it chilled. I only had it a few times and I loved it with ice. Somehow, the cold only enriched the flavor.

  I managed to swipe a flute of the deep crimson liquid from one of the waiters before beelining it for the balcony. I hoped no one stopped me just to chat. I wasn’t in the mood to pretend I knew who these people were or that I cared about them. Luckily, I was able to reach my destination without even tripping in my heels.

  The air was crisp, causing goosebumps to erupt over the exposed skin from the ridiculous dress. I contemplated burning it after tonight so I wouldn’t be able to wear it again, but that might send dearest Mother in a tailspin, and if tonight turned out to be a shitshow, she would need a scapegoat. I swear, one of the reasons she tolerated my presence the way she did was because she could always blame me for stuff she had no control over. The biting criticism rolled off my skin and I ignored it to the point where it didn’t actually bother me. Seph would have taken it much more personally, and the words would have stayed with her long after the words were said. It wasn’t exactly protecting her, but at least it was something I could do for her.

  Before I even took a sip of the fruity ambrosia, I tripped over one of the damn red carpets my mother put outside for some unknown reason, spilling the drink everywhere. Part of the drink landed on the edge of my dress, but the majority of it was on the carpet.

  “Fuck,” I muttered, looking down at the glass - still in my hand - as though it was the cause of my clumsiness.

  “Ooh, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?” a deep, low voice asked, cracking open the silence.

  Suddenly, I realized I wasn’t alone outside the way I thought I was.

  Stupid.

  I should know better.

  I was trained to know better. I was a Watcher after all.

  Well, not yet, but still.

  I glanced around, trying to figure out where the owner of the voice might be. It wasn’t someone I recognized.

  Part of me wanted to close my eyes and give myself a chance to analyze the voice. But I didn’t trust this person to close my eyes, even if it would help me. Instead, I glanced around, waiting to see if he would emerge from the shadows. It wasn’t as though there were a lot of places he could hide on a balcony. Then again, my mother’s additions of the potted plants - probably ones she transitioned from the backyard into her own handmade pots herself - hadn’t been there before. Maybe he had been hanging out behind one, ready to spring upon the first person who wanted to take a breather from the suffocating party.

  “Who are you?” I finally decided to ask. Might as well be straightforward about it all.

  “Thought you’d never ask,” he said, finally emerging from the shadows.

  Chapter Four

  It was the guy from before.

  Now that I could make him out more clearly, I recognized him - people at school wouldn’t shut up about him. He was some world-class athlete that always seemed to beat Thor in every single competition except when Thor could use that hammer of his.

  Apollo.

  Except, the more I looked at him, the more I realized that he wasn’t actually that epic.

  He was…pathetic.

  Sure, he was handsome in that rough around the edges sort of way - short dark hair, smooth tan skin, scruff on the lower half of his face. But his eyes were bloodshot and dead, and there was a bottle of Dionysus’s best wine that I was pretty sure my mother had tucked away in her wine cellar, away from the festivities tonight.

  “What are you doing out here?” I asked.

  “You’re the older one?”

  His chiseled face sneered and his eyes dived over my body, as though he had every right to inspect me. There was nothing lecherous in his gaze, but I didn’t like that he just assumed he could stare so openly and that I would be okay with it. I wasn’t sure if he just assumed that because he was Apollo, he could get away with that shit, but it wasn’t going to happen with me.

  He wasn’t even dressed for the ceremony, which I was surprised he was invited to in the first place. A trench coat, loose slacks…He couldn’t even be bothered to comb his short hair.

  “Remind me - are you
betrothed?” He brought the bottle up to his lips and took a long swig.

  “I think you’ve had enough,” I said. I reached forward, ready to take my mother’s wine from him when he yanked it away and held it above me.

  “Never take a god’s drink,” he said. I wrinkled my nose; I could smell the alcohol on his breath. “You should know that. And…you never answered my question. Are you engaged?”

  “Not that it’s any of your business,” I said, shifting my waist so I could get in position. “But I’m at the academy. And I train with Cronus.”

  I jabbed his collarbone on his left side, forcing him to drop the bottle. I caught it before it shattered over Mother’s balcony. She’d be pissed such wine would be wasted, much less the stain on the white marble.

  Especially since I had spilled mine.

  He grunted, rubbing where I jabbed him,

  “Ah,” he said. “That explains it.”

  “Explains what?”

  “Your…status.”

  “My…what?”

  He wrinkled his nose. “Everyone knows that those who train with Cronus are…educated in more than just combat.”

  I clenched my teeth. “How dare you.” I considered throwing the wine bottle at his head, Mother be damned. “I’m to be a Watcher.”

  Apollo snorted. “A Watcher?” he asked. “You? You’re short.”

  “Short people can be Watchers,” I said. “I disarmed you of the wine, didn’t I?”

  “Only because I let you.” Apollo lifted his shoulder to a shrug. “So, are you telling me, you and Cronus never…” He let his voice trail off.

  “Why do you care?” I asked defensively.

  “I just find it fascinating that anyone is able to resist that pretty boy.” He adjusted the sleeve of his trench coat, nostrils flaring. “Good for you.”

  I didn’t want his approval. I didn’t like the way the respect shimmied in his eyes. And I definitely didn’t like the way my body responded. If I was blushing, I was going to curse Aphrodite just because.