Goddess Undone Read online

  “Don’t,” I said. “Don’t do that.”

  “Do what?”

  “Who do you think you are?” I demanded to know, flaring my nostrils as I took a step towards him and held up my hand. “Don’t go around giving me your approval. Don’t look at me like you respect me. You don’t even know me.”

  Apollo snorted. “I know your family,” he muttered, taking another swig of his drink. “I know that your mother is looking for any way to get her name associated with the Divine. Desperation has never looked so…desperate.”

  I clenched my teeth together. My mother had a lot of faults. And by a lot, I meant a lot. But that didn’t mean he had any right to talk about my mother that way - even if it was true.

  “And look,” he continued, extending his arm and grabbing the bottle from me before using it as some sort of prop. “She managed to get her precious, ickle baby daughter engaged to the Divine bachelor everyone and their mothers want, Zeus himself. Did she have to marry you off to Hades to do that?” He started to chuckle at his own joke, and I rolled my eyes.

  “What’s your point, Apollo?” I asked. I pinched the bridge of my nose, too tired to fight, too tired to care about much of anything right now. “Why are you even here? You seem utterly miserable.”

  “I don’t understand why the Divine have to fucking throw a party for every-fucking-thing,” he bellowed. He took another gulp. “The only thing I see as a plus at being here is the free booze and the skirts who will, undoubtedly, go home with me because while I may be a pathetic sack of shit, I am still a legend.”

  “Don’t make me puke all over this dress.” I pinched the skirt and glanced down at it.

  Maybe puking all over it wouldn’t be too much of an issue. Mom picked it out - naturally - and while forest green was a favorite color, this looked like someone puked all over a high-neck form-fitting dress that went down to the floor.

  Plus, the wine I spilled.

  Except, it hugged the wrong things and highlighted other things - things I didn’t particularly want showcased. Thank the Divine the skirt wasn’t particularly short; the last thing I needed was my cellulite on display, even if it was only a bit, especially when Aphrodite was here and looked like she stepped out of a masterpiece.

  Not that I was hating on her, I just didn’t need the comparison.

  It was something I was working on.

  “You’d be doing it a favor,” Apollo remarked, arching a brow and dropping his gaze to my body.

  “Let me guess, Demeter picked this out for you?”

  I almost cracked a smile.

  Almost.

  “How could you tell?” I draped my arms over the marble barrier and sighed, looking down at the garden. It was in full-bloom, teardrop lights sparking up the night.

  “Er, well, Demeter has always been known for her remarkably unique take on fashion,” Apollo said before bursting into a coughing fit.

  I shook my head at him. “Does anyone actually believe your own bullshit, or is that just you?” I asked.

  “Do you kiss your mother with that fucking mouth?” he snapped back.

  “Who I kiss with my mouth is also none of your business.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “You’re hiding. Not because you hate parties. You’re hiding from someone.” My eyebrows raised and I grinned. “Is it a girl? Did you piss someone off again? Do you think you’ll get slapped? I hope you get slapped.”

  Apollo used his free hand to reach up and rub his cheek, almost as though he was soothing a mark I couldn’t see. Probably remembering just that.

  “Whyever would you want that?” he grumbled.

  I shrugged and looked at my nail beds. I hadn’t painted my nails in the past three years since I started training. I hadn’t seen the point in taking the time and effort into making something pretty when there was a good chance they would get ruined the first training session afterward. But now, I wished I had added something to them, even if I’d be picking at them the whole night. They looked a little plain comparatively. And it would have drawn attention away from the godsawful dress.

  “Probably deserved it,” I said, shrugging. “So? Who are you hiding from? Is it a girl?”

  “I highly doubt Aphrodite would appreciate being referred to as a little girl,” Apollo said.

  My eyebrows raised even further. “Dite, huh?” I pursed my lips. “Yeah, I’m not surprised. I mean, she is the most beautiful goddess in all of Olympus and amongst the Divine and blah, blah, blah.”

  “What?” He wrinkled his nose. “No. Never. Not what you’re thinking. Never. Gods, no.”

  I held up my hands. “Sorry,” I said. “Jeez, why are you reacting like that. Dite is gorgeous.”

  “Maybe on the outside, but that goddess is a first-class bitch,” he said. “Anyway, I just don’t want to deal with her setting me up with one of her pathetic little friends of the week. You know what I mean, where she purposefully brings someone clearly uglier than she is just to make herself look even better than she is - even though she already looks fantastic. On the outside, though. Only on the outside. Though, if I’m being honest, the thought of fucking her makes my above average dick shrivel into my balls.”

  I grimaced. “Seriously?” I asked, turning back to face him. “What is it with you men and your…you know.”

  “What? Balls? Can’t you say the word, princess? Balls. Nuts.Testicles. Sack.”

  “I get the picture,” I said. “I don’t really want to talk about your…balls, thank you very much.”

  He gave me a slick grin. “Would you care to do something else with them?” he asked in a wicked tone that teases the walls of my pelvis.

  “Dite!” I called out, keeping my eyes on him. “Apollo is -“

  Without warning, he whipped his hand across my mouth and came to stand behind me so suddenly, my instincts didn’t immediately kick in. His palm was rough like sandpaper and smelled of cigarettes and sweat. Disgusting.

  But the press of his solid torso against my back, the caress of the tip of his chin on the top of my bare shoulder…it did odd things to me. Caused my body to erupt into goosebumps even though the spring evening was nice and warm and Mom-approved. I stiffened, and all reason left me.

  “I kindly ask that you desist,” he whispered in a gruff voice. It almost seemed like he spoke with his hand in front of his face only because the sound was as rough as his skin.

  But the feel of his breath on my skin, the way his voice touched parts of me I had hidden away to anyone else, wasn’t entirely displeasing.

  “Strange,” he continued, holding me against him. “I thought you were supposed to be a Watcher. Suppose I wanted to have my wicked way with you. Suppose I wanted to assault your body and claim your virtue. Your paralysis gives me the perfect opportunity to do just that, princess.”

  I hated the words spewing from his mouth almost as much as I hated the way they vibrated through my very core. I cracked open my eyes, not realizing they had shut on their own accord. I needed to get myself out of this predicament. Not because I truly believed that Apollo would harm me in any way, but because my pride would not let me get away with just giving into him simply because I liked the feel of him behind me and the way his voice commanded my body to drip for him.

  I snarled at myself, at my traitorous physical need desperately clawing at my body, and elbowed him in the gut before stomping on his toes. He let out a muffled grunt and instantly released me.

  “I think you cracked a bone,” he wheezed out, still keeled over.

  “Be glad it wasn’t your crotch,” I muttered, trying to ignore the pain that pinched my elbow after the jab.

  I was lucky Apollo was drunk and didn’t seem to be in a bad mood. If I had done that to Ares…

  I didn’t want to think about it.

  “You know,” Apollo said, straightening up slowly. His voice was still strained and ran his fingers through his chopped brown hair. “You’re not bad, princess. You might actually be a Watcher yet.”

&nbsp
; I ignored the burst of pride that swelled in my chest. I shouldn’t care what he thought of me.

  I didn’t.

  But part of me did.

  Apollo, for all of his many flaws, was exceptional when he was at his peak. It was a great honor to have him say those kind words about me, whether I wanted to admit it or not.

  It was just a shame how far he had fallen and how little he cared.

  Chapter Five

  I all but dashed from the balcony. I didn’t need to think such things of him. I wasn’t wrong when I called him pathetic, but I should have added washed-up, sorry, useless.

  Apollo was…a pain in the ass.

  I was so wrapped up in my own frustration that I ran into someone without even looking. There was none other than Cronus, my trainer. His pale green eyes landed on me and I stiffened. The last person I wanted to see was him, especially on the butt end of my clumsiness. If he deduced I couldn’t even keep my focus at some betrothal announcement, there was no way he was going to speak on my behalf at the council.

  I cleared my throat and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. As much as I wanted to run, to hide myself in the crowd, I couldn’t. Hell, I’d take my mother over Cronus right now, but I doubted the Divine were too busy in their own dramas to think of smiling on me.

  “Pandora,” he said, his words like silk as they caressed every inch of my exposed skin. I wanted to curl up with disgust but I couldn’t do that. “You look…” He let his voice trail off as his eyes descended down my body and took in the sight of my dress. His nostrils wrinkled. “Is that ambrosia?”

  “Absolutely not,” I said, hoping he couldn’t detect the way I stumbled around the lie. “Watchers never consume any alcohol, and while I’m not assuming - of course, I’m not a Watcher yet - or maybe I won’t be, who knows? Not me. I’m just, I know I’m not entitled to drink anything that might inhibit, uh, inhibit my senses, so…”

  Real smooth, Dora.

  I cleared my throat again. I had done it so many times in the span of thirty seconds I was surprised Cronus wasn’t behind me, trying to apply the Heimlich maneuver because he was worried I was choking on something.

  “Anyway…” I wasn’t sure where I was going with this. I was pretty sure if I could stick my foot any further down my mouth, I would have.

  Cronus took a step forward, invading my personal space. I wasn’t quite sure what to do about it, so I stayed where I was. For a second, I thought he was going to kiss me. My stomach rolled. The last thing I wanted was to kiss Cronus. I’d rather vomit the little contents in my stomach all over his expensive boots than kiss him.

  But if I moved, would he take it as a personal affront? Would he hold it against me? Would he punish me for not just standing still and letting him do it? It was just a kiss. It wasn’t a big deal.

  Instead of kissing me, he turned his head so his lips almost brushed my ear. My blood turned to ice. I wanted to close my eyes, to pretend I was anywhere but here.

  “I would recognize the fruity scent anywhere,” he said in a low voice.

  I cleared my throat. He was standing too close to me. I wanted to move, to pull away, but I couldn’t do it.

  He tilted his head to the side so his nose grazed my jawline. My heart hammered against my temples, as though it had leapt into my head from its position in my chest and caused tremors to disturb every inch of me. My gut twisted but nothing even tried to make its way out of my mouth. It was like I was sculpted from ice, a statue of marble unable to move, trapped in Tartarus with no hope of being mobile again.

  “It smells absolutely decadent on you,” he said. His words were like a caress from a demon.

  “Oy, there you are. I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

  The familiar drawl made me pause. I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to stick my face in a pool of acid because of the shame that tore through my body or if I wanted to kiss Apollo for his unexpected presence. Whatever Cronus had planned for me - if he had anything planned at all - would have to wait. It wasn’t exactly a solution that solved my problem, but it was enough for the time being.

  “Apollo?” The sneer on Cronus’s face would have amused me had he been further away from me.

  But Apollo being here seemed to free me from whatever spell Cronus had me under, and I suddenly had the ability to move again.

  So, I did.

  I stepped away from Cronus, bumping into Apollo’s chest. The former Watcher placed his palm on the small of my back to steady me, something I found myself grateful for.

  “You…are bound to him?” Cronus asked, his eyes turning from Apollo and looking at me, as though he didn’t trust Apollo to tell him the truth.

  Apollo laughed at his words, the kind of laugh which apparently caused him to throw his head back and bark like a wolf to the moon. I tried to keep hold of the agitation I had. I wanted to deny it, wanted to balk at the thought of being bound to anyone, but especially Apollo, but I bit my tongue until it was numb. Instead, I nodded rigidly once, twice. I was surprised I didn’t squeak as I did like some man made of tin.

  “You will have to release the bind when you officially become a Watcher,” he said seriously. “You cannot have any ties to this life as it will be deemed a distraction, a weakness, and possibly get you or the other Watchers killed.”

  “Oh, she knows the drill,” Apollo said lazily. He grabbed my hip and began to caress it dramatically, really playing up the thought of us together. “Trust me, she reminds me all the time. Actually, I’m here to steal her for a dance. You wouldn’t mind, would you, Cronus? The last thing either of us wants is to distract the greatest living Watcher Olympus has ever known -“

  “I’m the greatest Watcher,” Cronus corrected sharply, lifting a finger.

  However, his little diction correction didn’t perturb Apollo in the slightest. He pressed his palm even more firmly in the small of my back and began to lead me onto the dance floor.

  “Don’t look back,” he instructed gruffly, trying to keep his voice down.

  A couple of guests gave us odd looks, probably because they recognized the both of us and couldn’t imagine how we would even know each other let alone could be found dancing with each other. Once we were in the center of the floor, Apollo stepped in front of me, sliding his hand to my hip and using the other to take my hand in his. Immediately, I placed my free hand on his shoulder and fell into the dance steps I was forced to learn at a young age thanks to Mother’s insistence. Despite me trying to block all memories of it, apparently I still remembered the steps perfectly.

  “I didn’t know you could dance,” I said, deciding to force the conversation.

  We hadn’t spoken since we began to move across the floor, and it felt awkward.

  Or maybe that was just me making more of this than nothing.

  “And I didn’t know Cronus was so fucking fond of you,” he retorted, dark eyes narrowed on me. He didn’t even flinch when I met his gaze, didn’t even look away. “You haven’t fucked him, have you?”

  My cheeks immediately heated at his insinuation and I looked away. I missed a step, accidentally stepping on his foot. He grunted, glaring. Probably thought I did it on purpose. Not that I cared what he thought. I wasn’t going to apologize for it.

  “Of course not,” I snapped, trying to keep my voice down. “Not that it’s any of your business.”

  “Oh.” He looked away, seemingly deep in thought.

  Oh?

  That was it?

  His jaw ticked and he looked everywhere but at me. I shouldn’t care. I honestly shouldn’t, but I hated the way he was ignoring me even though he was the one who led me to the dance floor in the first place. I certainly didn’t want to dance with him and I definitely didn’t need a lecture on who I should sleep with and who I should stay away from. Though, technically, he wasn’t actually giving me one of those.

  At least, not yet.

  “What?” I finally snapped, causing him to look back at me.

  “Wha
t, what?”

  I rolled his eyes. “You’re quiet.”

  “So?” A lift of his shoulder.

  “I might not know you very well, but you don’t seem to be the sort of guy who’s quiet,” I said.

  “What sort of guy do I seem to be?” he asked, tilting his head to the side.

  “One who doesn’t know how to dance, but apparently I was wrong about that.”

  The corner of his lip curved up but I wouldn’t necessarily call it a smile or even a smirk.

  “So,” he said in a low voice, almost as though he was worried about someone listening in on our conversation. Why anyone would even want to do that, I didn’t know. He was an alcoholic, a ruined Watcher, and I was still training. We weren’t important, not when compared to the plethora of guests that graced my mother’s home currently. “You’re a Watcher.”

  “Almost,” I replied. “I already told you that, or were you not listening? Not that I’m making any assumptions. I know I could be the best and still get rejected. It’s just, um, yeah, I’ve been training for years now, so…” I let my voice trail off, unsure where I was even headed with what I was trying to say.

  He cocked his head at me, eyes narrowed slightly. He seemed amused, but there was also something else in his gaze. I would have said it was concern but that didn’t feel quite right, and I doubted that someone like Apollo could be concerned with anyone else but himself.

  “You want to be a Watcher,” he said, blinking once.

  “Yes?” I furrowed my brows, suddenly wishing we weren’t dancing, that he wasn’t this close to me and could read me better than before. “Why wouldn’t I? It’s one of the best jobs I can get as both a Divine and a female.”

  “Hmm.”

  “What...what is that?” I wrinkled my nose. “Why are you judging me? You don’t even know me.”

  “Maybe not, but in the short amount of time I’ve, let’s say, experienced you, I already know a lot,” he said. Before I could respond to the obvious insults, he quickly continued. “I’m just curious how desperate you are to be a Watcher.”